"Duck!"
The crew find themselves in a deserted lizardfolk camp. Well, deserted apart from nigh on a dozen bodies, and a slightly singed lizardman calling for parley, despite Nandrin's best attempts to fry him. What madness is this? Talking to a lizardman! Venmir snarls, Sigurd smiles, and Rodin....he just moans about gnomes.
Starring, in order they sit around the table:
Nyvan, (played by Jason) a elven knight, who likes a good warcry and swinging his sword about in the air (and not hitting anything!).
Venmir, (played by Brett) an elven clergyman, the cold-hearted priest of war, who will sacrifice whatever is required to reach his goals - even his allies! .
Sigurd, (played by Iain) a travelling swordsman, fibber extraordinaire, who has taken over the head-shaking crown from Venmir.
Rodin, (played by Lorne) the sullen dwarven axeman, who believes safety lies up a tree.
Nandrim, (played by Hilton), the ridiculously brave elf mage who wasn't quite as brave as usual (due to a reshuffle of skills!).
and The DM, (played by Alex), who loves to comment in blue. And writes this blog. He's also a bit of a git and likes to make life difficult for his players.
We had a full group for this session, but for various reasons moved it from a Thursday to a Saturday and meant we could get an extra hour of play in - we perhaps didn't advance as far as I might have hoped, but that doesn't mean it wasn't a thrill-packed evening!
Bodies lay all around. Broken lizardmen, their green blood lying cold on the wet, unforgiving ground. The heroes stood, ankle deep in reptile gore, watching the last remaining lizardman carefully from across the clearing.
"Why you burn me, burnypants! Me wanna talk! Me name Snapjaw and me wanna talk a deal with humies and pinkskins....and the little one!" said the reptile, in passable Common, nodding at Rodin at the end of his speech.
A chorus of mistrusting comments spewed forth from Rodin and Venmir, but Sigurd sheathed his sword and stepped forward.
It soon became clear that Snapjaw was the last of the great lizardman revolutionaries - his tribe, The Scaled Death, had been devastated when a Bullywug Shaman, Spattergoo, had killed their leader, Suncaller, leaving them rudderless in the swamp. With their only options subservience to the recent arrivals, the Cult of the Dragon, the lizards found themselves at the bottom of the pecking order - ordered around by evil humans, and bullied by merciless bullywugs. Snapjaw saw a chance for the redemption of his people - and it lay with these great warriors....even the little one, and especially with angry burnypants.
The party soon made a deal with the sly lizard. He would lead them to the Castle used by the Cult in the swamp. He would also rally the lizard forces to help with an assault on the Castle to kill the Bullywugs and free his people. He would help the party infiltrate the Castle, in order to complete their side of the bargain - the assassination of the Cult leaders, Mr Grey and the Black Dragon Bitch, and the Bullywug chief, Pharblex Spattergoo. Leaving a void for the Scaled Death to reclaim the swamp for themselves - and slit a few frog bellies in the process.
The deal was sealed with licked palms between Sigurd and Snapjaw. Sigurd wiped his hand on Rodin's back, disguised as a hearty slap on the shoulder.
Snapjaw offered to go foraging while the party rested. As they waited, they were alarmed by loud noises in the undergrowth. They prepared for battle, and relaxed as Snapjaw ran into the clearing, panting.
"Bog meanie, bog meanie, bog meanie.....he's coming!" cried the lizard.
"What the fuck is a bog meanie?" asked Rodin.
"I think he means Bog Luck?" said Venmir, just as the massive Half Orc Gladiator charged out of the undergrowth!
"You killed my men and sneak off like little chickens in the night! I'm going to rip you all to pieces!" screamed the Roadhouse Master in unfathomable rage.
"It was her!" shouted Rodin, pointing at Jemna Gleamsilver, but she had already disappeared behind a lean-to.
Battle was joined.
The half-orc was a veteran of many wars and had started his career in the gladiatorial pits of the East. He was quick, skilled and angry. He leapt among the heroes, laying about him with his axe and sword, quickly setting the heroes aback with his strength and ferocity. He struck Rodin so hard that nyvan winced - and hit Nyvan in the helmet so savagely that Nandrin cried for days. It took a massive smite from Venmir (crit for 51!) and a myriad of other strikes to stop the beast - and as he slumped to the ground, he took great pleasure in the blows he had struck against five foes....and warned them all of the perils they would face - and that their deaths were inevitable. He slumped forward into a pile of lizard muck.
After the gladiator's death, the party rested, most of them huddled around a small fire, except for Rodin, who took refuged in a low-slung swamp tree. His overwhelming sense of safety was perhaps overblown considering he was only a few feet from the ground, but his confidence was palpable.
"Never seen a crocodile climb a tree!" he quipped, cheerfully, as he fell asleep.
-----
The next day, the group headed off for the Castle in canoes, finding themselves carrying the boats for short stretches between the watery paths before them.
As they reached a point several miles from the Castle, they rounded a corner to find themselves face to face with four humanoid snakemen...
"Yuan-ti!" shouted Snapjaw as he ran off into the swamp, leaving the party to fend for themselves. The snakemen hissed a threat and two of them ran forward, the ones at the back unlimbering bows.
The heroes found themselves beset by two scimitar-wielding snakes, who kept them busy while the two at the back flung poisoned arrow after poisoned arrow into Venmir and Nyvan. It was almost as if they resented the elves' presence in the swamp. While Nyvan and Venmir staggered under the impact of the arrows, Sigurd, Nandrin and Rodin beat away at them the snakes, Nandrin summong a huge ball of fire, it's flames licking around his pals, but not burning them. Sigurd leapt forward to attack one of the bow-snakes. after a lengthy battle (one of the longest we've had in the game - mainly due to some atrocious rolling by the party - and some great rolling by the DM!) the Yuan-ti lay dead. Nyvan moaned a lot. The party took a break and then carried on their travel.
-----
They found their way to the castle, once more lead by Snapjaw who had returned from his disappearing act, claiming the Yuan-ti were almost invincible and their destruction had vindicated his choice of the heroes as his allies. Of Jemna, there was no sign.
The Castle itself was bigger than they expected, and surrounded by bullywugs, lizardmen and overflowing with cultists. The party settled in to discuss their options.
They discussed their options for a long time. Then a little longer.
Eventually, they settled as getting Snapjaw to sneak into the building and getting them some cultist disguises. Rodin, as ever, moaned about sneaking anywhere, believing that the best approach involved slamming one's head against the thing in front of you until you got what you wanted. After a few hours, the lizardman returned, with a mismatched mix of underclothes, tunics and leggings - none of which matched and none of which really complimented anyone in the group. The heroes gave not a shit, and ventured forth.
At the gatehouse, they found themselves easily able to pass the guards, but something must have gone a little wrong, as the bullywug guards could be seen to be watching them carefully as they walked up the causeway into the Castle proper.
They found tehmselves in a bustling courtyard, and quickly caught the attention of a passing elf, who demanded to know who they were.
Sigurd lead the way, explaining that they were a cultist group from Carnath Roadhouse, who had been tasked with making their way to the Castle, but had been ambushed by Yuan-ti and lost all their goods, but had managed to escape alive. The elf questioned them thoroughly, then told them to wait while he collected someone to help them out.
Minutes later, the elf walked out again, inviting the heroes to follow his majordomo to some accommodations before he stalked off. The man talked to the heroes for a short while, before leading them slowly to a door on the far side of the courtyard. As he stepped through the door, he turned to the heroes, mouthed, "I'm sorry" and closed the door shut behind him.
The party spun on their heels, to find the courtyard behind them filled with foes. The elf, the black dragon Rezmir, the mage Azbara Jos (from the caravan from Daggerford) and a dozen cultists, as well as two dozen bullywugs, lead by a large bullywug shaman.
"You fools!" shouted the elf, instroducing himself as Borngrey, leader of the swamp cell of the cult. "Your false stories lead me to believe the worst from the very start. Bog Luck would never send valuable assets, or even morons, into the swamp. That's what the stupid lizards are for! Surrender, or die."
Sigurd assessed the situation, then dropped his sword, swiftly followed by Nandrin. The others stood their ground.
"Err, guys?" asked Sigurd. The others realised that fear had frozen their thoughts, and they dropped their weapons.
"Tie them up and take them to the interrogation chamber!" said the elf, as he walked off.
-----
The brave adventurers found themselves manacled to a wall in a long room. Opposite them stood one bullywug for each of them. After a short wait, the door opened. It was Azbara Jos, the red mage of Thay, no longer hiding his tattoos, or bald head, sure signs of his heritage from the magical lands of the east.
"What are you doing here and how much do you know of the cult?" he asked Sigurd.
After getting an answer which revolved around mercenaries wanting to get richer and seeing a chance for it with the cult, he moved around the group, in front of everyone else, asking the same question.
Amazingly, only Nyvan gave a story which supported the skald. Venmir barely responded at all, while Rodin, the second to be questioned, gave an entirely different story, as did Nandrin (this was genuinely one of the LOL moments of the night for me - Sigurd was horrified).
Somewhat confused and totally unsatisfied, the mage left the room.
Some time later, they were horrified to see Borngrey enter the room. He announced himself a follower of an ancient Elven order who believed all other races were inferior and should be wiped off the planet, leaving only the elves of Evermeet to rule the world (Elven Nazis! cried one player) and promising them all a long, painful death at his hands. Venmir was particularly defiant and, as the alarm drums began to rumble, Borngrey turned to find out what they meant, when Venmir spat out his threat:
"That is our lizardman allies, come to destroy you and free us, so that I can kill you!" pledged the elven holy bowman.
"Ohhh, is that what it is? In that case, I shall summon the guards immediately without even needing to see what all the fuss is about! Thank you, fool!" and the elf stormed out of the room, calling for his guards.
"You've doomed our allies!" accused Sigurd.
"They're just lizardmen, and they're evil." countered Venmir, completely uncaring.
"........." said Sigurd, disgusted.
As they argued about Venmir's alleged betrayal of their friends (well, some of their friends), Rodin watched as the door in the far wall opened a crack, and a small glass ball rolled into the room. He watched for a moment, before calling a warning to his fellow wall-coverings...
"Duck!" as he tucked his head under his shoulder.
"How the fuck am I supposed to duck, tied to a wall?" asked Nyvan.
("I do what Rodin did!" shouted Venmir's player)
There was a puff of smoke as the ball shattered, filling the lower parts of the room with gas. Rodin lifted his nose into the air in an attempt to avoid it. The bullywugs, shorter and even stupider than the dwarf, leaned intot he cloud, most of the falling to the ground dead. The one remaining stepped back, straight onto the dagger waiting behind it.
Jemna Gleamsilver stepped into the room.
"What would you lot do without me?" she asked.
Rodin groaned and reiterated his distrust of gnomes. Sigurd thanked her profusely, as did most of the group. After the smoke dissipated, she unshackled them and told them where their equipment was - it hadn't been taken far.
They rushed down a corridor and armed themselves, before heading back into the courtyard. They saw a host of bullywugs disappear down the opening towards the entrance to the Castle, from where they could hear the sounds of mass combat.
They rushed out onto the causeway. In the barbican ahead, a fierce battle raged between bullywug and lizardman, and a horde of bullywug reinforcements were poised to leap into the attack. Out in front of the Castle, stood Snapjaw, now resplendent in a chieftain's headgear, shouting and waving at them from 50 feet away.
"Hey, pinkskins! We's coming to rescue yous! And kill frogs! YEAH!"
Sigurd waved back. Venmir growled.
The heroes charged into the back of the bullywug reinforcements, Nandrin's fire sphere sending many screaming to the deaths, while Sigurd, Rodin and Nyvan carved the rest into little bits (when Nyvan actually hit, of course!), aided by Venmir's bow.
by the time a dozen bullywugs were dead, the battle was going better for the lizards. Nandrin sent his flaming sphere down to assist them, scarring quite a few lizardmen at the same time.
"Ooops!" he mused.
Snapjaw came running up, narrowly avoiding the flaming ball, obviously skilled at avoiding a burning death at the hands of Nandrin.
"Careful, burnypants!" cried the new chieftain of the Scaled Death Tribe, "you are fire-happy, crazy elf. And you, my brother," cried the lizardman, clasping forearms with Sigurd. "It is good to see you all alive, even burnypants and angry short one. Many me brood-brothers lay dead. Mr Grey was waiting with many troops when we come, and lots dead. But so are many frogs. We cut open their bellies! Soon we have freedom from evil frogs and their masters! Our day has come! But first, the leaders still live. We lack the lizard-power to help much more. Many more frogs must die. You must complete the bargain. Kill them all - and free my people!"
The heroes nodded grimly, and turned to face the Castle...
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