It fucking what?!
After finding their way down into the Undermountain, the heroes fought their way past a myriad of creatures, even some servants of the mad mage Halaster, the party passed through Dumathoin's temple and took advice from the dwarven deity himself (which they took surprisingly calmly) and then met Johanna, a human wizard, who acts as some sort of chronicler for the Melairkyn dwarves.
Starring, in order they sit around the table:
Rodin Halfbeard, (played by Lorne) the dwarven axeman, and trend-setting city dwarf.
Venmir, (played by Brett) an elven clergyman, and new found man of empathy.
Nyvan, (played by Jason) an elven knight, sick of having his kills stolen.
Sigurd, (played by Iain) a travelling swordsman (absent this evening).
Nandrin the Naughty, (played by Hilton), the elven mage, and inadvertent doomer of them all.and The DM, (played by Alex), who loves to comment in blue. And writes this blog. He's also a bit of a git and likes to make life difficult for his players.
Once more down to four (it's holiday season!) the party are ready to delve further into Undermountain. Having met the representation of a god hasn't phased our heroes - so I wonder what will....oh yes, I know what to give them!
The heroes stood in the forge of the god Dumathoin, having collected the prizes he left for them. They checked their hastily scrawled maps of the area. They crossed the corridor to check the room opposite.
Inside was a bed, a large mirror, an altar and dwarven-sized golden throne. The party spent quite some time deciding what to do - and despite Nandrin's repeated attempts to get Rodin to sit on the throne, he refused. Rodin felt that their agreement not to do anything inappropriate included sitting on thrones. Nandrin's morales, as ever, were somewhat more fluid.
They checked both rooms leading from this one. One was a closet of some sort, which Nandrin felt strangely attracted to. There was a series of chests, which they decided to leave alone, after several more minutes of intense debate.
They headed north, past the library and found their way to a shrine. In front of the altar were 8 kneeling pads. One of them was well-used and clean, the others dusty. Nandrin found two small silver amulets underneath. They represented old gods, from before the Time of Troubles. In the priory next door, they found a chest - and in it was clothing, the sort of which would be suitable for a priest, or supplicant. Johanna, who must have been following unseen, expressed amazement - the chest had been empty for the entire time she had been down here - and now it was full of clothes, candles, a crystal ball and various other implements for the worship of Dumathoin. As ever, the party were suitably unimpressed.
"What are you doing down here, anyway?" asked the mage.
"We're looking for children!" announced Rodin.
"Err...."
"He means babies. We're looking for babies." interrupted Venmir.
"That makes it so much clearer." replied Johanna.
"No! Giant babies." said Nandrin, seeing where this was going.
Johanna took a step back.
"Madam," said Nyvan, "we are on a quest to save some Cloud Giant children that were kidnapped. The search has lead us here."
"Ah, right. That seems markedly less weird."
In the end, however, they decided to question Johanna further. Only this time, they went into more details. She explained how she had been an adventurer like them - and at the start of the adventures, her and her party of 8 had fallen through a portal, finding themselves in the Undermountain. She was the last alive - and to the heroes' surprise, they heard she had journeyed here as a teenager - and she was clearly middle-aged. As they spoke about history, they realised she was around 40 years old - meaning she had been down here for more than twenty years. She seemed nonplussed, but the heroes were somewhat aghast (well the players were - the PCs are all long-lived!).
"Do you know where the children might be?"
"There is an old prison on this level. I was kept in it many years ago when my companions and I were caught by the drow. Sadly, the door to exit the prison is one-way only, unless you have the three keys - and I know not where they are to found." and she confirmed that the door to the prison was where they had first appeared in the Undermountain.
They decided to move back towards where they had entered the temple. They found a large set of double-doors, leading to some sort of trophy room, or museum. It was filled to the brim with statues and displays, the light from never-ending torches on the walls glinting from suits of armour so beautiful that Rodin was almost reduced to tears. They somehow managed to control their greed and refrained from taking any of the weapons or armour-pieces that surrounded them.
They moved further into the dungeon.
They walked down a wide set of stairs - and at the bottom found an octagonal room with portcullis across three of the walls. There was one door. The portcullis to the south had been smashed outwards - as if by magic, or some massive beast - and the other two were shut. As ever, the party decided that the most appropriate path would be to follow the one which didn't involve magic or massive beasts. They found a room which at first puzzled them greatly. Eventually, after taking a swig of embalming fluid from a bottle, Rodin realised they were in a preparation room for the dead.
That left them with only one way further.
They stepped through the ruined portcullis. Behind it was a long set of stairs. Only a few steps down were the dead bodies of a number of dwarves....no, no dwarves, grey dwarves. Duergar. Rodin took a moment to explain their origin to Nandrin, who had never heard of them before. He didn't seem too concerned. The bodies had been burnt and had deep slashes through their armour and bodies. The party continued, whistling cheerfully in the darkness.
They approached the bottom of the steps - and then a beast moved out into the light below them. Easily 25 foot long, not including it's tail, it was like a dragon, only it had eight stubby legs, and a long prehensile tail which it flipped from one side to another. It glared up at the party hungrily and Rodin and Nyvan charged down the stairs to attack it.
It opened its mouth and a sheet of lightning leapt forth. It was a behir!
"It fucking what?!" cried out Rodin, as the lightning slammed into him, pushing back into the steps. Nyvan stumbled.
"Errr... maybe this wasn't such a good idea, fellas!" exclaimed the elven paladin.
Venmir and Nandrin, hanging back, didn't seem so concerned. They fired arrow and magic respectively, but the creature charged up the stairs without a worry, biting and slashing at Rodin and Nyvan, who both suffered grievous wounds. Nyvan had the creature's tail wrap around him, lifting him into the air as he stabbed and slashed at it. Rodin chopped at it's torso, and the others sent arrow after arrow, and magics unbound, through the air. The creature continued it's assault, and lifted Nyvan towards it's huge maw. Nyvan struggled furiously, but it was to no avail. He was lifted inexorably towards the foot long teeth which ground against one another, inches from his face, when Rodin let out a mighty roar and slammed his axe once, then again, into the creature's chest - and with a mighty wrench, dragged the blade out, bringing with it a large chunk of the behir's heart. Nyvan dropped to his feet and casually sheathed his blade.
The party continued forward.
They found themselves in another octagonal room - there were doors in every wall. On the far side, a grey dwarf stood in a doorway. He laughed at the heroes.
"You're too late! The treasure is ours! Hahaha!" he laughed as he ducked through the doorway and slammed it behind him.
The party looked on, dismayed at being locked out.
"I wouldn't worry too much." said a voice behind them.
They all leapt into the air. Johanna stood behind them.
"Sorry," she said, "but I heard your battle with the beast back there, and thought I should come and check on you."
"Why shouldn't we worry?" asked Venmir.
"This is the way to the Tomb of the King. There are, however, a series of fake tombs, which are nothing but traps. He has gone the wrong way." explained the mage. She pointed off to one side. "That leads to the tomb."
"Excellent news!" said Venmir, and they walked through the door on the left, chuckling at the duergar heading for his doom. Unknowingly.
Behind the door was a pile of broken and dead ogre bodies - only recently dead. Behind the stack of dead was a long corridor, with a mix of blue and white tiles, each five foot wide. Spread out along the corridor were a series of ogre bodies, pierced in multiple places, one of them was even pinned against the wall by a great spear.
After several minutes of testing, checking and even being stabbed by a huge spear, the heroes found themselves at the far end of the corridor, somewhat relieved.
The door at the end of the corridor was smashed open. Behind it was room decorated with murals showing King Melair finding Mount Melairbode (now Mount Waterdeep), digging for gems or fighting duergar. A secret door lay open against the far wall, propped open against the body of another ogre. It lay across the remains of a large gold dwarven statue, shattered. Another six ogres, together with a hill giant all lay around the room, along with another destroyed statue.
They stepped gingerly through the door way, to find another passageway which had a tiled floor like the passageway before, except this one turned away at a difficult to decipher angle. They picked their way along the floor, finding the path easy by the series of dead bodies on the floor - all slashed away at waist height to a dwarf. The passageway had ogres, hill giants, ettins and, after several hundred feet, a young white dragon which had been decapitated. The party stopped and looked ahead in despair.
The last thirty feet of the corridor was clear.
Nandrin had a plan. Using his magic, he flew across to the door opposite and put a rope through the ring-pull on the door. and flew back with the rope. This end of the rope they attached to the dragon's head, and then they dragged it across the floor, watching as blades flung themselves out of the walls and floor, and after about 20 feet, they smashed the skull to pieces and destroyed the rope.
Rodin and Nyvan were both convinced they knew the way across the hallways safely. the other two were not sure (secret rolls for the win!).
"I bow to the superior knowledge of Nyvan!" said Rodin (in a stunning display of self-preservation and power-gaming - for which he lost the use of his inspiration token - one of our house rules).
Nyvan tucked his shield under his groin, to protect his elven jewels, and waddled as fast as he could across the corridor. To his, and everyone else's, surprise, he was unharmed and the others followed him through.
The room beyond was huge. It was a library, filled with tablets, tomes and scrolls. There was multiple levels, and each was filled with knowledge. It was, however, being destroyed. A frost giant stood across the other side of the room, pulling down the tablets and scrolls, smashing them on the ground. They could hear another voice, but could not see any other from where they were. After briefly formulating a plan, Nyvan and Rodin ran around the side of the room, hidden by one of the upper levels. Rodin, however, lacked subtlety, and he tripped over a book, making more noise than he should have. the giant spun around, and battle was joined. From across the room, Venmir and Nandrin sent magics and arrows, but after watching the giant trade blows with their companions, they were dismayed to see a hill giant drop down in front of them, only yards away. The creature smashed at them with his club.
Fortunately, the giants were both injured from the trip through the trap tunnel, and the combat was fairly swift. Much to the disgust of the fighter and paladin, before they could get back to the casters to save them. There was a fair bit of gloating and finger-pointing.
They quickly checked the room. There were no other exits.
What next?
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