(HotDQ-6) You want to do WHAT?

"I fuck the other egg!"

Interrupted whilst investigating a cave allegedly hiding black dragon eggs, our heroes have barely recovered from a huge battle with Langedrosa Cyanwrath, the blue half-dragon and his berserker guards...

Starring, in order they sit around the table:
Nyvan, (played by Jason) a elven knight who is constantly amazed at how many hit points his enemies have - loves a bit of melodrama.
Venmir, (played by Brett) an elven clergyman, never afraid to stand by and let someone else do the hard work. 
Sigurd, (played by Iain) a travelling swordsman, who hates everything about kobolds and hates being interrupted.
Rodin, (played by Lorne) the battered and sullen dwarven axeman, who likes eating, drinking and being knocked unconscious at least once a session.
Nandrim, (played by Hilton), the ridiculously brave elf mage who uses a sword more often than the sword-wielding cleric.
and The DM, (played by Alex), who loves to comment in blue. And writes this blog. He's also a bit of a git and likes to make life difficult for his players.

From a setup point of view, the lack of a DM Screen seems to be working ok - however, the last week saw an increase in "how do they add so much to their attack rolls?" and "How much!? You only rolled x for damage!" which is kind of frustrating. The dice rolls may return behind a screen. The group are convinced my dice rolls are cursed (for them) but I roll plenty of 1s as well - they just aren't commented on!

The party are exploring the cave at the back of the abandoned raider camp for black dragon eggs, and successfully defeated Cyanwrath, one of the cult leaders in the local area. The battle was at great cost, however, and some of the group are sorely wounded .

After a discussion (these are common), the party decides to leave the caves and take a rest outside where it might be a little safer.

After a brief break the group, bolstered by their own reserves of energy and also Sigurd's sagas of great heroes, head back into the cave. They decide to check the stairwell with the odd leather curtain, stopping to pick up the pitted, rusting spear located at the top of the stairs.

It took several minutes of prodding at the curtains with the spear (and even more minutes for the party to get over the spear/curtains innuendo) before they parted and Jason held the leather strips to one side for the others to enter. They found themselves in a meat store-room, filled with various types and ages of meat. Most people just wanted to leave, but Rodin was convinced there must be another way out and searched the room thoroughly. He found nothing.

They returned to another junction they'd encountered previously. Turning left had lead them to Cyanwrath, so they tried right. The first rank of the party passed through the corridor safely, but Sigurd set off a trap, and the ceiling fell down on top of them (don't make me draw a diagram of how this might look!). Sigurd, Rodin, Nandrin and Nyvan all leapt forward, while Venmir leapt backwards. The rubble filled the passageway between them. The larger group found themselves in a kobold barracks...an occupied kobold barracks. A dozen kobolds, equally split between the land-bound and air-borne varieties were in attendance and battle was joined. 

The kobolds on the ground were quickly sent screaming to the nine hells in Tiamat's glory, and one massive leap and slash from the dwarf, followed by a huge groin ripper of a sword-stroke from Sigurd convinced the other kobolds that the best option was to fly away - very quickly. They flew towards a chimney in the far corner and scarpered. The party followed and attempted to fling a fire bolt up the hole but, being a natural chimney rather than man-made, it wasn't straight and the kobolds were out of the line of fire.

On the other side of the cave-in, Venmir was trying manfully to lift the rocks out of his way - and failing miserably, his tiny muscles unable to lift the heavy pebbles in his way.

Nyvan and Nandrin set to clearing the rocks while Rodin kept a careful watch on the empty room. Sigurd, his hatred of kobolds almost consuming him, began searching the room by smashing it to pieces. Kicking the bedding in all directions, slamming his boots into their treasured artifacts and generally demolishing the place. By the time the others had cleared the entrance, and Rodin had assured himself the room was empty (after half an hour), the room was a complete mess. When queried, Sigurd just shrugged.

They headed down into the depths and travelled the route from where a number of kobolds had attacked after the battle with Cyanwrath. They found themselves in a huge natural cave, on a ledge overlooking a larger area, filled with natural columns, with an enclosed set of stairs leading downwards. Closer inspection revealed two huge eggs at the base of some columns a good thirty feet into the room. 

The party carefully descended the stairs and, after finding the key, opened the gate and entered the case. They were immediately set upon by two huge drakes who were defending the eggs. The battle was fierce and angry, leaving the party weakened and fearful of further combat.

They settled down for a rest, but were interrupted by a strange dragging noise coming from behind a pillar. As they watched, a monstrous beast appeared. It  looks like a nine-foot tall stalagmite, with a dozen long tendril-like appendages, one eye a foot across, and a mouth three times the size of the eye - it was like a cross between a cyclops, a piranha and Mr Tickle.

They quickly buggered off back up the stairs and watched it from the ledge. It set its gaze upon them for a while, before returning to it's place behind the pillars.

After a long discussion (this is my stock paragraph-starting phrase) and Venmir's arrows seemingly failing to affect the eggs, Sigurd ran down the steps and asked for someone to open the door. He dashed into the cave, grabbed a rock the size of his head and proceeded to smash one of the eggs to pieces. 

Nyvan immediately joined him with a battle-cry of "I fuck the other egg!"...although this was less sordid than first thought, as he rammed his blade into the egg and pulled it out, ripping the egg virtually in half, showering himself in gore.

The party were unmoved by the baby-like cries of the dragon babes as they died before they even really lived. The cries, however, brought the creature from before back into view.

They retreated to the ledge once more, secure that their position offering them safety. Nandrin, however, had been paying attention to it before and knew that a vertical wall offered no sanctuary from the beast and urged them all to take action. Soundly ignored, he took matters into his own hands and flung a fire bolt at the creature - which only seemed to enrage it. It started up the wall and its tentacles seemed to grow longer, lashing through the air above the ledge long before the party could see the creature itself.

Horrified, Sigurd backed away, calling for the others to do the same. Venmir and Nadrin backed off, the latter only too keen to escape the trouble he'd brought upon the others, then used ranged abilities, but found their spells and arrows didn't slow the creature at all. Nyvan swung in vain at the creature as it came over the edge. Rodin leapt forward with a massive swipe of his axe, but was mightily dismayed to see his axe bounce off of it's armoured skin. He didn't have time to curse, or warn the others, as the tendril wrapped itself around him, squeezing his arms to his sides.

The party looked on, in abject horror, as the tendrils seemed to grow longer and more numerous, filling the air with thrashing, flailing tentacles, looking to grab them and drag them into the maw of the beast. Rodin tried to escape, but it was too strong. He felt himself lifted from the floor and propelled towards the beast's mouth, when Nyvan charged across the room, slashing his balde through the tendril with a massive scream of paladinly power. The other three, by this stage, had ran up the stairs, but the tendrils were not lashing out at  Nyvan and Rodin, so they could not see what was unfolding below, and could only listen in horror to the grunts and squeals of combat below.

Rodin and Nyvan, momentarily free of the tendrils, ran for the stairs. Nyvan, dextrous and lithe, leapt between the tentacles,, twisting and diving from one step to another, before somersaulting past the last flailing limb. Rodin ran, head down, punching and kicking his way towards freedom. He dived clumsily for the stairs and emerged into the room - safe! Or not. A tendril grabbed his ankle as he made it to the room. He screamed in fear.

Nandrin ran foward, his sword missing the tendril by quite some distance, barely missing the dwarf's head, before Rodin, with strength born of desperation (and wind) pulled his ankle free from the creature's grasp and ran across the room. The group left as sqiftly as they could, stopping only when they were in a room with good line of sight and space to rest. They saw no more tentacles and decided to leave the cave again to rest. Before they went, Sigurd lectured the group on acting like a group, which turned into a lesson on common courtesy, as Venmir and Nyvan ignored him and starting whispering sweet nothings in one another's ears. How rude!

The party stomped out of the cave, noticing this time another tunnel that had previously escaped their notice. They decided to check it later.

As they left the cave, they were surprised to find Frulam Mondath waiting for them, with a handful of cult guards. 

"You slew my best friend!" she cried, in a rage.

"Which kobold was that?" enquired Sigurd, at which point the rest of the group tittered and giggled. 

It only set her off and she ordered her guards to attack, before clothing herself in magical vestments which betrayed the senses of those who approached. A glowing magical halberd appeared in her hands and she leapt forward after her guards to attack the party. 

The guards were not particularly skilled and they fell quickly, but not before weakening the already weak group. Frulam, on the other hand, was a different prospect. Her blades flashed around her, slamming into the party. Within moments, Venmir had been slammed to the ground, and Rodin followed not long after. After she was struck several times and seemed weaker, she mouthed a spell under her breath and to the group's dismay, some of her wounds healed.

They redoubled their efforts, and Sigurd lay some enchantment on her, bringing the entire area to a complete silence. Only Nandrin was outside the area and his spells continued. When his Witch Bolt narrowly missed the Cult Leader, she turned and, with one mighty throw, impaled the mage (natural 20!). He keeled over, leading just Nyvan and Sigurd to face her. Her mystical halberd appeared in her hands again - and the final battle was joined.

Nyvan and Sigurd set about the madwoman in complete silence and she fended them off for some time, leaving her mark on Nyvan with a few swings of her blade. Things were looking rough for the two heroes left, when he shields faded and she finally fell to the ground, defeated and destroyed.

The party celebrated by not letting one another bleed to death (I think there was about ten death saving throws rolled in this fight - a new record!).

The party rested, then returned to the cave. They found a few more rooms, including a barracks and what must have been a treasure room, recently emptied. It was in such a state that Nyvan asked Sigurd if he'd been in there before them, mindful of the kobold's barracks before. There was one cultist still in the cave, lying drunk next to a number of empty wine bottles. Rodin tied him up and blindfolded him, but despite trying valorously, couldn't wake him up from his drunken stupour.

In Frulam's chamber, they found a map which lead them to believe the cult was heading for Beregost, then north to Baldur's Gate, before following the trade route north - to somewhere called Naerymar. None had heard of it.

The party settled down to consider their options...

(and we stopped for the week!)