(HotDQ-7) "I'm gonna go with swordsman."

On the trail of evil!

The party have killed just about every living thing in the caverns - except for the roper, which kicked their arses. Even Frulam Mondath lies dead - and they also have a copy of the cult's map, so they know where the treasure is going - roughly, just not too precisely, and they don't know why either!

Starring, in order they sit around the table:
Nyvan, (played by Jason) a elven knight who struggles to breath during job interviews.
Venmir, (played by Brett) an elven clergyman, the worst liar in the party, and an almost child-slayer. 
Sigurd, (played by Iain) a travelling swordsman, (who had to miss tonight's game).
Rodin, (played by Lorne) the battered and sullen dwarven axeman, who is never far away from a broken something - like a wagon.
Nandrim, (played by Hilton), the ridiculously brave elf mage who has a terrible work record.

and The DM, (played by Alex), who loves to comment in blue. And writes this blog. He's also a bit of a git and likes to make life difficult for his players.

Sadly we were a player down this week - and to be fair I think he would have enjoyed this session, which was 75% role-play, 5% combat and 20% trying to stop pissing ourselves laughing.

The party returned to Greenest after briefl discussing their options. When it became clear they would need to pass through Greenest, they also decided not to have a kip in the cave and made their way through the canyons, back to town.

They were met by Governor Nighthill who, as ever, showed great concern for their wellbeing and invited them to rest. He also advised that before he left for Elturel, Leosin had arranged for mounts, riding gear and supplies for them all to assist with the journey. The party was also able to re-equip themselves and rest easily for a night.

First thing the next day, they headed for Elturel. It was an uneventful trip, and six days later they approached the capital of Elturan. They gazed in wonder at the massive light shining above the town, day and night, to help repel undead and keep the citizens safe. Well, gazed at it for a few seconds, before Rodin started moaning about how he would never sleep if someone left the lights on.

After a short wait in the queue, the party made it past the guards without any colossal fuckups by mentioning Ontharr Frume by name. The party were sent to a tavern by the anme of "A Pair of Black Antlers" where he was known to keep his base.

They arrived at the pub and, after brief game of "look at them" played by the locals, they ordered themselves some drinks, endured a few comments from the barkeep relating to the strange make-up of their group and directed to a door off the common room when they asked about Ontharr. 

They walked into the next room which lead into another common room, except it was more like a barracks. In the middle of the room stood a massively fat knight, with a long beard and a big mouth, telling a ribald tale about three elves and a halfling prostitute. The party, made up of three elves and a dwarf, felt momentarily concerned for their safety, before Ontharr delivered his punchline and called them over to talk. When he found out who they were, he dragged them to the bar and ordered a load of drink. He tiurned out to be funny, charismatic and loved a prank. They had a good laugh. Several hours later, the party, now a little tipsy, were invited to another meeting room, where Leosin and Ontharr were waiting.

There they discovered that Ontharr and Leosin were members of two societies, the Order of the Gauntlet and the Harpers, respectively. They were joining forces to combat the evil of the dragon cult and wanted the adventurer's help. The party were quick to agree. Additionally, Leosin and Ontharr invited the party members to join their societies. While there was no pay involved, there were benefits, like the horses they rode, and a network of support across the realms. After some time deliberating, Venmir and Nyvan publically declared for the Order of the Gauntlet, while Nandrin joined the Harpers. There was much celebrating, although Venmir did nearly have a heart attack when Ontharr pulled his sword out and roared his agreement in his face, before folding the two holy elves in a massive bearhug, so tight that Nyvan broke wind and Ontharr kissed them both sloppily on the cheek. Nyvan turned his body sideways a little at that stage. Not sure why.

Rodin decided that neither faction was his idea of a fun or adventure and while he committed himself to the cause of defeating the cult of the dragon, he joined neither.

Onthar told them that in order to travel to Waterdeep, the cult would have to go through Baldur's Gate and would almost certainly join a caravan - so the heroes could visit the city and, when they located the cultists, join the same caravan so they could keep an eye on them. He had also arranged for them to meet with an associate of his who could advise them better in Blackgate, a suburb outside the walls of Baldur's Gate - he would be able to help, and stable their animals (as no animals or wagons were allowed in the city). He had also arranged a boat to take them down the river.

The boat trip was uneventful and they were pleased to find that Ontharr had given them each 50gp for the trip and left a small potion bottle in Rodin's bag. rodin had constantly complained about the lack of healing potions for sale and the bottle had a label, in crayon, saying "Poshun of Heeling". He looked at it suspiciously, but put it in his backpack. They took their horses with them, before disembarking outside the city with their horses, on the north side of the river, before heading to meet Ackyn, Ontharr's contact.

He was a wagon-equipage merchant and most wagons passed through his shop at some point. He promised to keep an eye out and stable their horses.

Several days later, the party were waiting in the main square for merchants seeking guards, when they recognised some of the men carrying a curtained palanquin. Venmir, more perceptive than most, noticed that inside the palanquin was the black half-dragon, Rezmir. He quickly averted his gaze and warned the others. Although Rodin kept staring.

Minutes later, they were approached by a street urchin. You have been summoned, by the merchant, Ackyn, he announced. "Oh yeah, and how do you know it's us he wants?" asked Rodin. "I was told to look for three elves and a dwarfling!" announced the little laddie, before scampering away with a giggle. Rodin blew out his moustache in disgust and huffed and puffed his way to the merchant's shop, vowing eternal vengeance on the child and his family. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Rodin.

Ackyn advised that some men had been in to buy three of his wagons, yet had been mightily suspicious when asked about what they were hauling. They didn't even have their goods with them, having left them in a warehouse. Ackyn had saifd their equipment could be picked up the next day at dawn, giving the party enough time to get jobs as guards on the caravan heading north.

"Can we see their goods?" said Nandrin.
"They're in a warehouse. I don't have them here." said Ackyn.
"Fair enough, but can we go see their goods?"
"I don't have them."
"OK, but let us into your storeroom and no-one need ever know any different!" asked Nandrin.
"I. DO. NOT. HAVE. THEIR. STUFF. It's in another warehouse that I DON'T OWN!" shouted Ackyn.
"Ah, ok, thanks." said Nandrin as he walked off.

The party giggled, a lot.

They went to the haulage square to secure employment as guards on the next caravan. They waited with a horde of other hopefuls and, before long, Nyvan and Nandrin were hired by separate merchants. Both were offered 10gp per tenday and would be required to act as bodyguards and/or sergeants for other guards.

Nandrin showed off a little for his new employer by flourishing a little fireball in his hand. His new boss, a little concerned, said "I thought you were a swordsman, but you're actually a mage?". Nandrin, momentarily confused and worried that he might have blown his chance, whipped his sword from his scabbard and waved it above his head threateningly. 

"So what are you, a mage or a swordsman?" said the merchant, hoping he might manage to get both.

"I think I'm gonna go with swordsman." said Nandrin. 

Now the merchant was suspicious and disappointed. "You're gonna go with swordsman? That doesn't sound very convincing!"

"I am what I am!" announced Nandrin, and turned on his heel and stalked off - hoping some dramatics would help his now teetering position. The merchant took this as a refusal of his offer and called Rodin over. Much to Nandrin's horror, the merchant offered Rodin his job. 

"Wait, what? No! I just meant...oh come on!" complained the mage, but his cries fell on deaf ears and he returned to the guard bleachers to see if there was anyone else looking for guards. 

Rodin used his new position to get Venmir a job. 
"You carry a bow, but look like a priest" said the merchant. 
"I'm not a priest" said Venmir (rolling 4 on his persuasion roll).
"You are the worst liar I've ever met. You're hired." said the merchant.
"WTF!" exclaimed Nandrin.

That left Nandrin the only one in the party without a job, sitting on the seats next to a gnome with one leg and a blind half-orc that smelled like old cheese.

Just before he gave up on his chances, a huge Shaar tribesman walked into the square. He was seven and a half foot tall and impressively built. The whispers around the square made it clear he was well known - and his nickname was "The Pole".

He called Nandrin to him.

"Looking for work?" he asked.
"Yes." replied Nandrin.
"Heading to Waterdeep."
"That's fine."
"5gp per tenday?"
"Great."
"You're hired."
"Thank you."

And The Pole walked away.

"That was the best interview ever!" shouted Nyvan. Nandrin sniffed haughtily and walked away.

(at this stage we actually had to take a break, as the paladin couldn't stop laughing and the cleric pee'd his pants a little from laughing so hard)

The party set off the next morning, with three different bosses. There were many merchants and travellers, including three wagons belonging to who they believed was the cult, half a dozen merchants, and even a young family.

It was a quiet trip, although they were horrified to see a noble who constantly beat and berated his horses loudly, drawing disapproving looks from his fellow caravaners. Venmir fought back the urge to comment.

A few days later, the beatings came to head. The noble, flabbergasted with his nag of a hrose, stopped the entire caravan when his horse stopped in the middle of the road and he started beating it. He screamed abuse and beat the animal about the head, neck and legs. Outraged, Rodin stomped over, just as the noble slammed his staff into the beast's head with a loud crack and lifted his weapon once more as the horse fell to it's knees, dazed. 

Nyvan looked up and saw two large eagles flying overhead. There's something odd with them, but I can't quite put my finger on it, he thought. Then he turned back to the drama. 

Rodin grabbed the man's arm on his backswing. "Please stop beating your animal" he asked, politely, before disarming the man.

"How dare you touch me you filthy dwarven oaf! Keep your stinking mitts to yourself and mind your own stupid business you tiny moron!" screamed the noble. "Do you know who I am!" he screamed. "Treat this miniature monkey a lesson!" he cried at his bodyguards. 

A mounted knight spurred his horse forward, waving his sword about his head. 

Rodin dropped the staff at his feet and announced, loud enough for everyone to hear. "I don't want any trouble, but killing this horse will attract predators and endanger us all! I'm merely looking out for the caravan!"

Just as he said that, the eagles from above swooped down. They were not eagles, but Perytons - dangerous supernatural beasts which were a danger to the entire caravan. They attacked the knight and Venmir, who had ridden up to offer his support to Rodin, but was still mounted.

Venmir took a grievous blow from the diving beast and leapt from his horse, the better to fire his bow. As the creature came down for another go, Nyvan swiped at the one on the knight and Nandrin hit the first with a firebolt. Just as it passed overhead, Rodin leapt up into the air and slammed his axe into its chest, knocking it from the sky and flinging it backwards, where it smashed into a wagon. Venmir took aim with his bow, but slipped, sending his arrow flying into the wagon housing the young family.

"Watch out, they have bows!" shouted the cleric.

The noble's mage bodyguard flung a huge ball of fire at the beast, catching both Venmir and Rodin in the blast, but killing the beast. The other one fled. 

"Careful!" shouted Nandrin, "you hurt my friends!"
"My aim was perfect," said the human magician, with a sneer on his face as he turned away.

Nyvan resisted the attempts of the noble to buy his horse, almost to the point of losing his temper, but he kept from being too rude, and rebuffed the man's repeated attempts. In the end, the noble cursed him as a stuck up elven nob and stomped off.

Venmir approached the mage bodyguard, intent on warning him about his behaviour. 
"You should be more careful. You could have killed me and my friend!" protested Venmir.
"My magics are perfectly under control, and did exactly what I wanted them to do in the circumstances, so get knotted!" replied the mage haughtily.
Venmir turned away in disgust as the mage smiled at his back.

They turned to survey the damage. It was the wagon of Nandrin's employer. His wagon was half on fire, half smashed from the creature being slammed into it. He tried to save the rest of his cargo, valuable silks, and called his guards forward to help. It was then he noticed that his silks were full of holes - infested with worms and completely worthless. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he cried and collapsed to his knees, sobbing. Nandrin tried to console him, gently patting him on the shoulder, when the man slumped forward onto the ground. Nandrin tried first aid and called for help but by the time Venmir arrived, it was too late. The man had had a fatal heart attack. Nandrin cursed.

The Pole walked over, opened the man's purse, pulled out 5gp for Nandrin and pocketed the rest. He then announced he was returning to Baldur's Gate for a new contract.

Nandrin was disgusted, but chose to save his ire for the halfling teamster, rather than the massive tribesman. "Take his corpse back to town and make sure he is properly buried and his body cared for!" he ordered the halfling. "Yes, sir. You can trust me!" said the little man, as he somberly stood over the corpse.

As Nandrin rode away, he glanced over his shoulder at the sad scene, but all he could see was the halfing gleefully rifling through the pockets of the man on the floor.

He sighed, and rode off to catch up with his friends.